The End of 2011

Ugh.... I know I have so many things to update ya'll on (Christmas, Thanksgiving, pictures, etc...) but it has been a gloomy cold day and I feel like working my frustrations out thru a wee bit of complaining and then some pep talk by finding ways to fix all my crap! But seeing that I am the only one that really reads this... no one should get bored over this post but myself, right?! :) As for the complaining part... I know... I hate complainers! Actually it drives me nuts when people can't find the good in anything! But that is not what this is... there is good in my life and I am not a terrible person (I am actually a pretty spectacular lady... and ya'll that don't spend more time with me are missing out!) but there is so much I need to improve on if I am gonna be ready and strong enough for the challenges that lie ahead!

So 2011 is coming to a close and I have read some friends blogs about how they did on their 2011 goals. My 2 goals were to read the scriptures (epic failure- F) and to end the year the same weight that I started it (I gots 8 lbs. left- not bad for having had a baby 4.5 months ago and having gained 40lbs over the pregnancy... but not what I was hoping for so I guess I would give myself a C+) and both of which I did not do so good with! I always seem to just get by in life, "as long as I make it thru the day then tomorrow will come and it will be better," and tomorrow always comes and it is the same ol' story. I hate it! I know I have a life time of bad habits working against me and that can't be changed over night, but still... seriously when am I gonna do something besides sit on my butt? I go back and read over my short time up at college when I actually wrote in my journal... talk about depressing! No wonder I don't write in a journal... it is nothing but a bunch of "I am not good enough" crap that no one in their right mind wants to read! So I am wondering... when am I gonna change and what do I gotta do TO change?

I guess what I need to do is write down everything I wanna change and then pick a few things to work on and hopefully succeed at and then go from there. This post will be my reminder (that can't get lost or thrown away) of what I am truly working for... so if someone happens to read this just know this is for my benefit, not for your entertainment and pleasure!

So here is the perfect me (all nicely organized into categories):

FAITH and Character:

Go to temple at least once a month if not more

Read scriptures daily

Attend all my church meetings

Family Home Evening

Family scripture reading

Listen to all of the conference talks during conference

Serve others and be aware of others needs

Personal Prayers night and day

FITNESS & Physical:

Exercise daily

Weigh 135-140ish lbs

Have a small chest (surgery or losing A LOT of weight?? this is probably impossible but still I can dream, can't I?)

White teeth

Tighter stomach

Tan skin

FUN & Improvements:

Practice piano and singing daily

No swearing (yikes... this is a bad one... it is just plain funny though! swear words just are funny! But I realized it was out of hand when I called my dad a certain B word that is much like fish poop while playing a board game...oops!)

No talking bad about anyone (I try... man I try... but some people do stoopid stuff that deserves to be laughed and talked about!)

Find a hobby and projects to keep me busy

Be a better friend (so I will be ready when I find my kindred spirit)

Have a closet full of nice flattering clothes (hmmm... this may take a life time!)

Get up at a reasonable time and actually start my day (instead of lounging on the couch till noonish)

Never be late ( HA! remember this is dreaming... these are not all possible, feasible attributes I can acquire!) 

Pick up a skill that I can earn money at home from

FINANCES:

Get out of debt

FAMILY & Home:

Make beds every day

Play with my kids daily Have dinner made or cooking when Tony gets home (maybe start with a menu plan?)

Keep my house clean (as in visitor clean- Don't just lay... put away!)

Make breakfast/lunch for my hubby

Keep a journal for me and my kids

Keep my table and counters clear of junk build up

Try making a new meal every week

I am sure there is more that we can add later... but this will do for now! Obvious as it is... I am no where near what I wanna be! Which won't be bad if I have a life time to change... but what if I only have today left and I wasted my whole 26 years of existence? True the physical attributes really don't matter in the eternal scheme but everything else? Man... when I see God (which is coming closer with each day I sit on my butt doing nothing) He is gonna be so disappointed in me! They read a Christmas poem ('Twas the Night Before Christmas but changed to the 'Twas the Night Before the Jesus Came) at our Relief Society Christmas party this year. Here is the clip that got me....

When out of the East there arose such a clatter.
I sprang to my feet to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash!

When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But angels proclaiming that Jesus was here.
With a light like the sun sending forth a bright ray
I knew in a moment this must be THE DAY!

The light of His face made me cover my head
It was Jesus! returning just like He had said.
And though I possessed worldly wisdom and wealth,
I cried when I saw Him in spite of myself.

In the Book of Life which He held in His hand
Was written the name of every saved man.
He spoke not a word as He searched for my name;
When He said "it's not here" my head hung in shame.

The people whose names had been written with love
He gathered to take to His Father above.
With those who were ready He rose without a sound.
While all the rest were left standing around.

I fell to my knees, but it was too late;
I had waited too long and thus sealed my fate.
I stood and I cried as they rose out of sight;
Oh, if only I had been ready tonight.

The part about "it's not here" totally killed me! I do NOT want that to be me and my family! So with 2012 nearly upon us I am making my New Year's Resolutions... 5 of them... one for Fun, one for Family, one for Finances, one for Fitness, and one for Faith. If I can accomplish 5 a year.... in 6ish years maybe I won't feel so unready and so inadequate!

Fun: Do projects to keep me busy and try something to earn money from home

Family: Family Home Evening EVERY Monday night and keep my house cleaner!

Fitness: Lose the rest of my baby weight plus 5 lb and exercise 3 times a week 

Finance: Pay off $3000 of our huge amount of debt!

Faith: Daily Personal Scripture study and up my temple attendance

So that is it! I may work a wee bit on some of the other stuff. But I won't be devastated if they don't fall into place. But these 5+... I am really gonna try hard to achieve them! Wish me luck and have a happy new year!!

Family Pictures

Not bad for having had a baby 11 days before, right? Thanks to my wonderful friend, Allison Miller, and my sister (who took just the close up of Coop) for taking some amazing photos of my sweet little family!

Kian's Arrival

Pregnancy was pretty uncomfortable this time around. By the end I was having contractions frequently and so much pressure and I was pretty much miserable! I decided not to keep up with it on my blog this time cuz I don't wanna remember it or else I may not have another one! I really hate how fat I get, how uncomfortable it is, then all the after stuff.... it is all a bunch of poop and I HATE it all! I really want to be done having kids but I guess we will see in the next couple of years.  I don't mind having a newborn... I just hate the pregnancy!
So by about 36 weeks I was dilated to a 2 and 75% effaced. I thought for sure this little bugger would come on his own. The last week I had 2 nights of close contractions but by about 2 AM both nights they just plain ol' stopped and another night without a baby. Just in case Kian did decided to come on his own we had Mik's fiance, Amy stay with us 3 nights the last week to be there for Coop instead of having to wake someone up in the middle of the night to come watch him! Then Tony's folks came into town and stayed with us. It was nice to know Coop would be taken care of and we wouldn't have to worry about that in the middle of the night!
 Anyway... 38 weeks came, I was to a 4 and about 80% and still he did not come on his own! So we scheduled to be induced on the 6th (39 weeks). 4:30 that morning we called in and we were able to immediately go in at 5 AM. By 6 I was hooked up and on my way. We were so bored sitting there so we rented a good movie that really kept my attention and I hardly paid attention as the contractions slowly started to come which were mild and easy, breezy. By 8:30 they broke my water and immediately the contractions came on so strong I could hardly breathe! The good part was the moment the water broke in walked the epidural guy (same guy as last time and boy do I love him!). While he was hooking me up and I was praying the guy would hurry I seriously could feel the baby move down. Weird feeling! Dang water was just in the way and if it would have broken early I probably would have had the kid on my own like a week before!
Anywho maybe 10 painful contractions later the epidural started working! It was so easy compared to last time! As soon as the guy left the movie was turned back on. By 9:30 I told the nurse (who was awesome btw and I was lucky to have her the whole time (except the middle of the night)) that I felt alot of pressure. So she immediatly checked me and was like..."uh I better get ready for a baby to come and get the doctor!" We called the folks and they headed out the door to head to the hospital. By 10 the doctor, same as last time yet I liked her so much more this time, came in and she had me push thru 2 contractions and out popped Kian and that was that! Super easy... didn't even mess up my hair or make up! HA! And within 10 minutes in walk both  our parents! I felt so good compared to last time... I kept saying, "I feel so good I could run a marathon!"
Kian James Long- 10:15 AM, 7lbs 14oz, 20.5 in with LOTS of hair, ears flat against his head, and the cutest little cry! I love that moment when the baby finally arrives and with the love of my life by my side our beautiful baby is laid in my arms and the world seems so beautiful and so peaceful and everything is so right! The love you feel is so strong and seriously takes my breath away! It is a beautiful moment that I won't forget with either one of my boys!
After one night in the hospital we were able to go home and actually relax and get some good sleep! Both mom and baby are happy and well and adjusting just nicely to their new life!! I guess after such an easy birth and such a sweet, beautiful, easy-going little guy it was worth it! I sure do love being a mom even if it means being pregnant to get the little cuties here!

Catch Up Till End of July...

Back in May (mother's day weekend) Tony's folks came down and we all went to Texas Roadhouse to celebrate Tony's sister's birthday. There, I entered a drawing and ended up winning! I won a $400 basket of stuff... hair cut/color, manicure/pedicure, massage, Scentsy stuff, Texas gift card, and microdermabrasion. So beginning of July started with me getting pampered! LOVED it!

The 4th of July weekend my cousin and best friend, Bridgette, and her hubby and 2 kids stopped by for dinner. Man, I wish she lived closer! I love her so much and even though we are so different in some ways we are so much the same in others and will forever be the best of friends! I hope we always stay close and our families always get along! The 2 boys get along for the most part... they sure had fun running naked thru the sprinklers though!

Man, I love these two! Aren't they handsome?

The 4th we had yummy crepes for breakfast then left for the Rexburg parade with some friends. It was long and hot but still fun! Coop's favorite was the candy, the horses, and the cheerleaders/dance teams (should I be worried?). Then we had meant to go to the splash park with our friends but there was family drama (due to my Gramma recently moving back around here) so we rushed home only to spend the afternoon bored and alone. So we went swimming in Coop's tiny little pool... that's right, Tony, me, Coop, and my huge belly bump all sat out back in a tiny pool! It was fun! Then we went to my folk's for a BBQ which ended up to be more drama (Tony and my brother in law got in an argument and my mom told them to get the blankity blank out of her house if they couldn't behave). Needless to say the party ended pretty quickly! So then we left for the fireworks with some friends. I LOVE the firework show here! It is not the 4th without 'em! Anyway... it was the best of times, it was the worst of times.... but in the end all the fun outweighed all the crap of the day!

This summer my brother proposed to his wonderful, sweet girl friend! We all love her and she is so good with the kids and so good for my brother. My brother has been on a wayward path for a while now and it is so good to see him coming back around! I see the brother I remember and love so much more now that he is with her! Anyway he was able to baptize her the beginning of August and it was an amazing, amazing day! I am so proud of her and once again proud of him and I can't wait for her to be part of the forever family! They are getting married at the church November 5th and hopefully sealed in about a year! I am so happy to have a sister-in-law that loves us and will be another sister to me and hopefully the best of friends!

The rest of the summer was filled with playing outside, going on walks, playing in the pool and sprinkler, Tony went to several local baseball games with friends, he played softball for work until he hurt his elbow (which he broke on his mission and is now messed up), went to his works picnic and won a free personal day (not the grill or TV we wanted but still nice!!), sat on the couch watching the series 24, and just enjoying life and awaiting the arrival of our new little one! Good, good, summer! Wish it wasn't over!